Spoilers for the full season of HBO’s “Watchmen” follow:
“Now: We have a god to kill.”
It is a bold statement that Lady Trieu (Hong Chau) makes in the finale of HBO’s “Watchmen” — boldness being part of the job description for a comic-book mad genius. It is also a kind of mission statement for this daring, breathtaking series, which in one season took American history and pop mythology, dismantled it down to its smallest atoms and reconstructed it in a form that was familiar yet wholly new.
It’s hard to overstate how risky, how primed for disaster, was the challenge that the creator, Damon Lindelof, signed up for. First, to adapt a notoriously hard-to-adapt subversive superhero comic. Then to lovingly, impishly subvert that subversion, extending the story backward and forwards in time. To do all that while reframing the story as an antiracist pulp thriller, weighty without being pompous or exploitative. Oh — and could it also be electrifying and playful and fun?
Amazingly it could, culminating in “See How They Fly,” a mind-bending, gravity-defying finale that successfully landed this improbable airship.
Like a fine watch or a chicken’s egg, the symbols the finale returned to, this season was a marvel of self-contained engineering. It succeeded, first, in craft and performance, with visual invention and memorable work from Chau, Regina King, Jean Smart, Jeremy Irons, Louis Gossett Jr. and many others. It set up a domino chain of mysteries that the finale satisfyingly paid off.
But it also created something more: an urgent entertainment that was as unignorable as the pealing of an alarm bell.
Alan Moore, the creator of the graphic novel, did not endorse this project, any more than he has other adaptations of his work. Yet Lindelof’s approach — to honor it by taking it apart and questioning the appeal of masked avengers in the first place — was very much in the spirit of the original.
Reinventing “Watchmen” by making its subject white supremacy rather than the Cold War — not to mention making its hero Angela Abar (King), an avenging black police-ninja — also meshes with Moore’s critique of the superhero genre, as he put it in a 2016 interview.
“Save for a smattering of nonwhite characters (and nonwhite creators),” Moore said, “these books and these iconic characters are still very much white supremacist dreams of the master race. In fact, I think that a good argument can be made for D.W. Griffith’s ‘Birth of a Nation’ as the first American superhero movie, and the point of origin for all those capes and masks.”
Lindelof (who wisely assembled a diverse writers’ room for the job) made a form of that argument. Then he complicated it and recomplicated it.
One of the first things we see in “Watchmen” is not “Birth of a Nation” but its imagined silent-movie antithesis: “Trust in the Law!,” the story of the black Oklahoma marshal Bass Reeves, playing in a Tulsa movie theater that is about to burn in the white-terrorist massacre of 1921.
The boy sitting in that theater grows up to be Will Reeves (Gossett), who takes the marshal’s surname and becomes America’s first superhero, Hooded Justice, under cover of a lynching victim’s mask. His “origin story,” as he calls it in the finale, is horrific. Yet there’s also a heartbreaking optimism in the idea that this child would grow up with the trust — or at least furious determination — that the law might win out, even if it took a century.
The history and present of American racism figure directly in “Watchmen”: the use of nostalgia as a literal drug; the Seventh Kavalry’s resentment at being expected to “say sorry” for the “alleged” sins of the past; the circled-thumb-and-finger-to-forehead gesture of the racist secret society Cyclops, which resembles the real-life white-power appropriation of the “O.K.” symbol.
But “Watchmen” also asked: What if black people were among the ones wearing the masks? What if a black man — a black policeman — were the first masked hero? Why would he need to shield his identity, even more than Clark Kent? And would the subterfuge work so well that — as we saw on the show-within-a-show “American Hero Story” — later generations would assume he must have been a white man?
All this played out in the sixth episode, “This Extraordinary Being,” which reimagined the origin of Moore’s Hooded Justice, astonishingly taking that character’s symbols — the hood and the noose — and tying them to the dark history of lynching in such a way that it seemed as if that reading was always there, begging to be revealed.
The “Watchmen” endgame then one-upped this gambit, remaking perhaps the original comics’ most memorable character, Dr. Manhattan, revealed here not to be in exile on Mars but living incognito as Angela’s husband, Cal (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II).
The image itself, of an African American man as the azure Übermensch — as both black and blue, to quote Fats Waller — was a striking statement, reimagining the universe’s one superbeing like an icon out of Afrofuturistic art.
Now the show was asking: What does it mean to give god a black man’s face? What if the very people once left out of superhero stories have the greatest claim of all to their themes and ideals? Who has a greater stake in truth, justice and the American way — an exile from Krypton, or the black child who fled a ruined movie theater, yet didn’t forsake the words of Bass Reeves?
In the end, “Watchmen” returned to the subject of power: Who holds it, who can be trusted with it and what should be done with it.
Superpowers are obviously horrifying in the hands of evildoers; hence the story of the Seventh Kavalry trying to steal Dr. Manhattan’s power, the show’s most conventionally comic-book-villain plot.
But “Watchmen” is also suspicious of those, like Veidt and Lady Trieu, who want to use power to impose their idea of good on the world. That opposition — toxic hate and toxic idealism — is paralleled in the background, in the fictional, quasi-autocratic presidencies of Richard Nixon and Robert Redford.
But dispassionate withdrawal, as represented by Dr. Manhattan’s retreat from the world, is no answer either. “He was a good man,” Will says. “But considering what he could do, he could have done more.”
Can anybody be trusted with absolute power? Can it ever be employed in a way that won’t create new and greater problems? “Watchmen” doesn’t answer these questions. But by ending with the suggestion that Dr. Manhattan could transfer his powers to Angela (incubated, like a vaccine, in a raw egg), it offers a suggestion as to who might be the best kind of person to entrust power to.
Maybe, the ending suggests, someone who didn’t ask for it. Maybe someone who has watched god and her only love die simultaneously. Maybe a black woman who has swallowed the memories of a century of injustice and persecution and struggle, who has (through an egg and a pill) literally taken into her body both the ultimate power and the ultimate understanding of powerlessness.
We are left, to wonder what Angela will do and should do from here. In a quintessentially Lindelof move, the screen cuts to black the instant that Angela’s sole touches the surface of her swimming pool, to test whether she can, like Dr. Manhattan, walk on water.
It’s tempting to call this a “cliffhanger” though I have no reason to believe the show intends to resolve it. You could call it a “tease,” but I don’t think that’s the spirit of it at all.
Instead, “Watchmen” leaves us at the electric moment of transformation — the precise instant when foot meets water, flesh meets the elemental, mortality meets immortality.
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In a recent interview with Japanese outlet Sora News, Abrams did the standard press junket interview, you know, promoting one of the biggest franchise films ever made and all that. Normal, routine stuff, until the interviewer asked Abrams who his favorite Star Wars character was.
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“Han Solo,” is Abrams’s not terribly surprising answer. Then he threw the question back: who’s the interviewer’s favorite? The interviewer responds: Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker’s apprentice and prominent non-Jedi Force user in Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Star Wars: Rebels.
To which Abrams replied, “Hmmm, Ahsoka, huh? Well then you’ll probably want to watch closely during The Rise of Skywalker.”
What? Like, for real? Considering how much has already been revealed about The Rise of Skywalker in marketing up until this point, there’s considerable reason to believe that Abrams may be telling the truth. And if he is, that means that Ahsoka might indeed make a small, likely background appearance as the Skywalker saga rockets to its final conclusions.
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If so, that would be an interesting choice, and would make a gesture that, so far, at least, the Skywalker Saga films have not been all that interested in making. While Rogue One and Solo have referenced substantially the animated side of the Star Wars universe, it’s always felt sequested from the mainline series. Ahsoka was never mentioned in Revenge of the Sith because she was created after that film was written; her appearance in even a minor role or throwaway ensemble shot would suggest an interest in more closely harmonizing those disparate parts of the universe. Which would be neat.
It’d also let us know more information about what Ahsoka has been up to since Return of the Jedi (how long do togruta live, anyway?), giving probably the only hint we’re going to get until Dave Filoni decides to do something else with her.
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The film, which stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Kevin Hart, nearly doubled the opening of "Welcome to the Jungle," which would eventually go on to make nearly $1 billion two years ago. Industry experts had predicted that "Next Level" would make around $45 million while Sony was more conservative with its forecasts at $35 million.
2019 was not a kind year to sequels. "Dark Phoenix," "Men In Black International," "Godzilla: King of the Monsters," "Terminator: Dark Fate" and "Doctor Sleep" were all disappointments at the box office. But "Next Level" was able to avoid the sequel curse because it's a "brand that audiences love," according to Paul Dergarabedian, senior media analyst for Comscore(SCOR).
"'Welcome to the Jungle' delivered exactly what audiences wanted in a reboot two years ago. This film took that popularity, I guess you could say, to the next level," Dergarabedian told CNN Business. "It's got a great cast, it's a lot of fun and it's just a perfect popcorn movie for the holiday season."
Elsewhere at the box office this weekend, Disney once again crossed a milestone.
"Frozen 2," the studio's follow up to its frosty animated hit, broke the $1 billion mark at the global box office on Saturday.
The film, which stars the voice work of Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell, is the studio's sixth film to make more than $1 billion. The film joins the studio's other billion dollar blockbusters this year including "Avengers: Endgame," "The Lion King," "Captain Marvel," "Toy Story 4" and "Aladdin."
"Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" opens next weekend and is poised to be one of the biggest box office hits of the year. It's also likely to be Disney's seventh $1 billion film of 2019 once everything is said and done.
The box office could use all the help it can get. The North American box office is down 5.4% compared to last year and there is less than three weeks left to make up the deficit.
In a surprising move, there were absolutely no surprise guests on this week's "Saturday Night Live," with Scarlett Johansson, and the show didn't suffer at all for their absence.
We fully expect an onslaught when Eddie Murphy returns next week (with Lizzo) before the holiday break. But for now, musical guest Niall Horan was the only person other than the host and cast to appear in a sketch, and he was pretty funny as a skeazy, dead strip club owner.
Scarlett was clearly comfortable with this entire cast, considering she's engaged to Colin Jost and probably around a lot, and it showed throughout the night as she brought plenty of laughs and featured in sketches starring virtually all of them multiple times.
And props to the host for going in a completely unexpected direction with her monologue, creating one of the most memorable opening bits in recent memory. Even better, it pulls back the veil of sketches and characters a bit to let the cast breathe as people and performers, which is so important to do from time to time.
"SNL" works when we connect with the players and not just their characters. We need to think that Kenan Thompson is funny -- and we do -- before we'll buy into all of his ridiculous characters. And liking him makes us like his weaker efforts just a bit more, too.
While there were still a couple of duds, and Scarlett relied a bit heavily on cue cards in a few sketches, this was easily one of the strongest weeks of the season. It's as if removing all the distractions of countless guest stars let everyone focus on the cast, the host and making great material.
As usual, we're ranking all the sketches from worst to first, including the Monologue, Cold Open, "Weekend Update" and any sketches that were cut for time but made their way online. We'll skip the musical guests, because they're not usually funny - unless Ashlee Simpson shows up. We wrap up with a look at the cast-member who had the strongest week.
Singing Elves
When regular mall workers sign up as singing elves, you really need to vet their musical content. Kenan Thompson and Scarlett Johansson carried this silly skit with their full commitment to the ridiculously sexual lyrics in their highly inappropriate original Christmas carols, written by Bowen Yang in a delightful cameo. Bonus props for balancing it out with Beck Bennett and Heidi Gardner as parents watching the horror show with very different reactions. That added layer salvaged what would have otherwise been an underwhelming sketch.
Pet Mind Reading
There was on real reason for this to turn into a political sketch, but it went there anyway. And then it retread familiar ground about how the impeachment won't matter, how history doesn't care, only this time Scarlett Johansson's dog was the Fox News mouthpiece while everyone else seemed to be speaking for the left. Honestly, the best part was when the dog got personal, talking about Scarlett eating a pizza crust from the trash. Sometimes it's okay to skip politics and maybe just go with all the things a dog sees in our homes. Plus, can we stop with getting female dogs to play males. Either use a female voice or get the right gendered dog! Soap box over.
Hot Tub Christmas
Uh, okay. Clearly, this was Cecily Strong's baby, coming up with a stupid song about two strippers and their strip club owner having drowned in a hot tub at Christmas-time. Scarlett Johannson and Niall Horan joined as two other ghosts to share the song with Chris Redd and Ego Nwodim, who'd snuck into the hotel hot tub on Christmas Eve. And it was ... fine, we guess. But that's all it was. Not funny, not bad, per se. Just there. Even the story wasn't outrageous enough to be funny.
Choke Hold
Scarlett Johansson, out on a dinner date with Bowen Yang, hates getting recognized for their iconic work on the "Choking" poster. We weren't sure if they were going to have the couple crazy for thinking they had fans, or if the fans would be real, but Kate McKinnon played up her thrill in seeing the so beautifully, it was definitely the right choice for it to be real. It didn't end particularly strong, but the image of the kitchen staffs at all the nearby restaurants closing in on them was classic horror and beautifully done.
Holiday Party Apology
We've seen this bit before, with Kenan Thompson delightfully daft as an off-color security guard named Charlie that no one wants to see fired, no matter how horrible he was at the holiday party, and another person (this time Scarlett Johansson as a VP) they want raked over the coals, even though Charlie's actions were just as bad, if not worse. This one rides entirely on Kenan's delivery and charm, as well as the different reactions he and Scarlett get from their assembled co-workers. It's nothing sharp or brilliant, nor is it even something you'll remember much once the commercials roll, but it was a charming enough diversion and fun while it lasted..
Conway Marriage Story
How did it take so long for "SNL" to weigh in on the starkly different views of White House counsel Kellyanne Conway and her husband George. Seriously, this is comedy being written almost daily by two real people. Kate McKinnon and Beck Bennett went all out as the star-crossed lovers who seem to hate each other publicly, but something clearly works and this posits that it is that very friction that drives them to fits of passion. Kate and Beck absolutely nailed their passive-aggressive-tinged passion in a hilarious piece that should have been done years ago.
Hallmark Matchmaking Show
Did the writers of this have to watch a thousand Hallmark Christmas movies to so perfectly send up their tropes and stereotypes and empty expectations. We loved the playful language and the ridiculous expectations twisted into the dating show format, perfectly captured by ghost guy, vague European prince guy, and clearly Santa guy. And don't worry, if you've never seen a Hallmark Christmas movie, yes you have.
Weekend Update
Colin Jost and Michael Che came out on fire this week with their funniest political commentary of the season. In particular, when Che went in on Democrats for not simply cheating to win, it was brilliant. Then, he compared Jost to Bill Cosby in a split-screen, no less, and we were dying. The chemistry between these two has reached that magical place where they can just be funny because they're together.
Bowen Yang dropped by as the Chinese trade ambassador again, but this character has so much backstory to explain even what he is and what he does and how it impacts America and Trump, a lot of the humor gets lost in the explanation. Bowen is a talented addition to the cast, and this would be a lot funnier if it wasn't an information dump every time. We get he kind of has to, but we'd take that to mean the character might be too convoluted for mass consumption.
The boys went in on iHop being "way too formal," Weinstein's settlement, while Che tried to calm One Million Moms by telling them if a kid is watching that same-sex kiss commercial on the Hallmark Channel, "he already gay as well." He's watching the Hallmark Channel! That said, the network pulled the ad after the complaint, so clearly this is a statement about why that was completely unnecessary.
Wardrobe and makeup tried, but Kyle Mooney as Baby Yoda was just terrifying to look at. And then he started talking -- yes talking -- and it got even more disturbing. It was kind of like a Baby Herman situation from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" (go watch it if you don't know). Or maybe it's just that he's 50 years old. The bottom line, the only funny thing was when he started talking his Hollywood beefs with people like Baby Groot. Let's just say it was a good thing Che and Jost were on fire this week, because the guests were both huge whiffs.
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Cecily Strong got another song, and this one worked much better, basically taking the basic premise of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" to its logical adult-oriented kink-lusion. The earnestness in her delivery, and performances by Scarlett Johansson and Mikey Day as Mom and Dad, with Beck Bennett as Craigslist Santa, really helped sell the kookiness of a strangely light and fun piece, even with such sordid subject matter. The go-go backup dancers helped keep things fun and bright, like a holiday variety show. Much stronger than the hot tub piece, it's odd it aired later in the night.
COLD OPEN: Impeachment Talk
First up, Aidy Bryant was absolutely adorable as our narrating Snowman a la "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, only she was presenting us three very different families discussing the impeachment. The big difference, though, is that while white families are arguing either side, the black family seems to get it in a more visceral way. "Oh you mean how Trump is definitely getting impeached and then definitely getting reelected?" Kenan Thompson asks. That does seem to be the timeline we're on. Then Aidy came back with a gut-punch that none of it matters, because three states get to decide everything in our elections. America, America, we did this to ourselves! We loved that the whole cast got involved -- Kate McKinnon slayed as Greta Thunberg -- in this and there were no guest stars, It just proves the talent is here and if given a chance, they can shine all together!
MONOLOGUE: Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett came out and hilariously ripped on fiance Colin Jost -- "What would we do without his paycheck?" -- as she touted her sixth hosting appearance. And you know, this monologue was absolutely bonkers. First, people started disappearing a la "Avengers: Infinity War," including some cultural commentary from Bowen Yang on his way out, only for it to be revealed Pete Davidson was behind it. Colin got a burn on her about not watching her own superhero flicks and the more it went on we loved the reckless abandon, anything can happen, loose silliness of it. Kenan Thompson and Pete's exchange about taking some time off was comedy gold. We love when the show gets a little self-aware from time to time, as our relationship with the cast is so much more than just their characters.
Macy's Winter Wardrobes
Finally, somebody gets the struggle. Thanks fake Macy's for acknowledging the fakeness in any advertising that includes kids not freaking miserable in their winter clothing. Images of the cast "wrestling with their little monsters" juxtaposed with Cecily Strong's upbeat narration really made this feel like an authentic -- and oh so real -- holiday ad. We'd respect this truth in advertising. In it's own ingenious way, it was stunningly hilarious and oddly touching as these fights are a part of what makes the season.
PLAYER OF THE WEEK
While this was a week that celebrated the entire cast, it was evident throughout the night that Aidy Bryant, Cecily Strong, Beck Bennett and Kenan Thompson were taking much of the spotlight. Perhaps Scarlett is just comfortable playing off of them.
Aidy, though, largely played supporting roles, while Kenan and Cecily were great but not nearly as prolific as our winner this week. Beck Bennett absolutely dominated throughout this episode, showing his versatility and talents.
He portrayed Craigslist Santa with such gusto, went all in as a conservative father talking politics in the cold open, played it straight several times (disinterested bartender, firing boss) and really stole the show as George Conway opposite Kate McKinnon's brilliant Kellyanne.
Beck was a workhorse this week, appearing in almost every sketch, and never giving less than his full effort. By this point in his "SNL" career, he can be funny with just a facial expression, a random utterance or simply by the posture of his body.
"Saturday Night Live" returns next week with host Eddie Murphy and musical guest Lizzo.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at tips@toofab.com.
Aidy Bryant dressed as a magical snowman opened NBC's variety show on Saturday saying that it's almost Christmas and "folks in America seem more divided than ever."
"But if we listen in to some dinner conversations tonight, I bet we'd find out we have more in common than we realize," Bryant's snowman said. "And now we can listen because I hacked into three Nest home cams."
The first holiday dinner "SNL" took audiences to was in San Francisco.
"I'm so happy everyone flew here for the holidays, and I'm even more happy that they did it, they're impeaching Trump," Cecily Strong's character said at the dinner table.
The next dinner was in Charleston, South Carolina.
"Well, they did it. They're impeaching Trump," Beck Bennett's character said. "I'm sorry, it's a disgrace. What crime did he even commit?!"
The final dinner "SNL" looked in on was in Atlanta.
"Dad, c'mon, you're going to rile everyone up," Chris Redd's character said.
"Well, I'm just asking, do y'all think 'Bad Boys III' is going to be good or what?" Kenan Thompson's character said to his family.
Redd's character said he'd rather talk about politics instead.
"Oh, you mean how Trump is definitely getting impeached and then definitely getting re-elected? I'm good," Thompson's character responded.
The sketch then bounced around each of the three dinners in the cities showing the differences between each.
"I just don't understand who on Earth could vote for Trump after this," the family in San Francisco said.
Then the family in Charleston could be seen saying "how could anyone not for Trump after this?"
The sketch then cut to the Thompson's character in Atlanta asking his family, "who do you think is going to get voted off 'The Mask Singer' next week?"
"SNL's" cold open then ended with Bryant's snowman.
"Now, those three families may seem different, but you see they have one important thing in common: they live in states where their votes don't matter," she said. "None of them live in the three states that will decide our election."
Climate crisis activist Greta Thunberg, who was played by Kate McKinnon, then appeared on screen to warn people about climate change.
"I also have a Christmas message," McKinnon's Thunberg said. "In 10 years, this snowman won't exist! Her home will be a puddle. Santa, reindeer, the North Pole, all of it, gone! The ice caps will melt and elves will drown."
McKinnon's Thunberg then wished the audience a "merry maybe our last Christmas to all."
Bryant's snowman and McKinnon's Thunberg then said the show's signature opening, "Live from New York... It's Saturday night!"
Michael Che, Scarlett Johansson, Colin JostScreenshot: Saturday Night Live
“It’s like saving the world, too, just on a smaller level.”
“I’m not an actress, I’m a [much bigger] star [than my SNL-writer fiancé]!!”
Scarlett Johansson’s sixth hosting gig came with the added baggage of her now being engaged to the show’s co-head writer, something the show (apart from a center stage smooch during the goodnights) refreshingly didn’t address all that much. Johansson’s monologue played around with the public’s curiosity about the match by having her embrace Jost’s Update partner Michael Che warmly during a moment of crisis, while barely noticing Jost standing nearby, and joking about how the pair will ever make ends meet should she do so bad a job hosting that Jost gets fired. On a show all too often willing to let its backstage news spill out into self-aware cuteness on-air, it honestly could have gone a lot worse.
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The monologue itself was the half-funny sort of meta-joke that makes one wish for an actual funny premise, as half the SNL cast (plus the backstage llama) get Thanos-snapped out of existence while Johansson explains that all the special effects dusting going on is from that Marvel movie she did. Not the last one, but the one before that. Beck Bennett, before himself winking into nothingness (while complaining, “Who’s gonna play the dumb idiot . . ?”) winks at the lameness of the bit, asking the host if this was a leftover idea from a few years ago, which, again, is the sort of “we’re so lame” joke that gets its chuckles at the idea that nobody at SNL seems very good at writing monologues these days. (The relief that must sweep the writers room whenever a capable standup hosts the show.) Still, there were a few better pieces of backstage in-joking, as Chris Redd bemoans the loss of Mikey Day (it’s actually Alex Moffat), and Pete Davidson (absent from the show again, except for this bit) turned out to be the possessor of the Infinity Gauntlet, and clearly grossed out Johansson when he went in for a hug. And Kenan—who had a big show all around—capped it off best by getting resentful at Davidson’s blithe explanation that, when you’ve been on SNL as long as he has, you can take a few shows off.
Johansson remains an enthusiastically game Saturday Night Live host. Clearly into playing broad comic characters with big, working class accents, like the rapping Santa’s elf alongside Kenan here, she’s yet the sort of big star whose considerable talents slot comfortably into whatever roles come her way. She’s professional and confident without ever being especially endearing, but—Jost factor aside—it’s no secret why SNL continues to have her back. As to how the show—now considering the Jost factor—would address some of the actresses’ variousrecent, verypubliccontroversies? Yeah, don’t hold your breath, as the sliver of an opening Aidy’s elf on the shelf gave before being dusted, asking if Johansson’s been good this year, went nowhere before the cutesy gimmick washed it all away.
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For more on why the Colin Jost-ScarJo match might be a better match than people seem to think, stay tuned.
Best/Worst sketch of the night
With the news breaking Saturday that the Hallmark Channel had bowed to pressure from vastly-inflating-its-membership hate group One Million Moms and pulled an ad depicting—gasp—two women getting married, the fact that SNL had another “ladies network” game show sketch in the pipeline was just a happy coincidence. And while it’s no Lifetime’s What’s Wrong With Tanya?, that’s no crime, since that remains one of the funniest damned things the show’s ever done. Dissecting Hallmark’s signature brand of movies about bland white C-listers exchanging “dry kisses” in snowy gazebos might not be groundbreaking stuff (although occasionally it is), but the Christmas-themed dating show A Winter Boyfriend For Holiday Christmas had enough off-center gags to make the Hallmark-bashing consistently funny. It’s all in the bafflingly ubiquitous details, like Johansson’s big city reporter being assigned a story about how Santa Claus isn’t real from her home in a New York made up of “stock footage that still has the Twin Towers in it.” Or how each of her three prospective (white) suitors click snugly into one of the network’s cosily acceptable holiday stereotypes (secret prince, hunky ghost, secretly Santa). Alex Moffatt’s prince hails from the “vaguely Europe” kingdom of Caucasia, while his one black friend (Redd) urges Scarlett’s contestant to marry him in “hip, urban” style, but breaks down immediately upon being asked anything about himself. (“I don’t have a backstory!,” he cries, fleeing.) Aidy’s host drops the cryptic detail in passing that, if Johansson doesn’t pick a suitor in time, “Christmas is cancelled and the killer goes free,” and reminds everyone, “the true meaning of Christmas is husband.” As for the newsworthy corporate caving to right-wing bigotry, she also tossed in a “Stay straight out there” as a breezy goodbye. (Always points for writing Saturday’s news into the show on the fly.)
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There were two egregious product integration ads tonight. (Sure, we all want fewer actual commercials in the show, but at what cost, people?) Yet, both were actually pretty decent, although, as is my puny act of rebellion each week, I shall omit the names of the corporate beneficiaries of Lorne’s pandering. Fight the power, etc.
The [department store chain] commercial threw [department store chain]’s name all over the screen, and had a would-be heartwarming button at the end that could serve as straight-up [department store chain] advertising slogan. That being said, the sketch itself was another of the show’s perversely warm holiday ads, where chipper commercialism and clichéd sentiment are shown to necessarily wallpaper over the more down-to-earth tribulations of the season, especially when it comes to parenting. The fact that all holiday clothes are itchy, nut-pinching, too-hot, overly elaborate frippery that all kids hate and all parents revile is carried across pretty delightfully by the cast, all playing beleaguered parents just trying to get through the damned day without completely losing it over red-faced, miserable kids and the occasional, clothing-caused bathroom mishap. Still, there are enough blatant product placements and branding going on that [department store chain] isn’t likely to complain.
The [hotel chain] sketch not only opened on a shot of one of the chain’s hotels, but saw Ego Nwodim conspicuously naming [hotel chain] at the outset, in case [discount hotel chain] felt it wasn’t getting its money’s worth in the ensuing sketch about after-hours hot tubbing and happy singing stripper ghosts. SNL’s really leaning into the holiday spirit this year (Eddie Murphy and Lizzo are in-house for the actual Christmas show next week), with Chris Redd and Nwodim’s late-night soak interrupted by Cecily Strong and Johansson’s deceased 1970s pole dancers who sing an untroubled holiday song about how they died in that very hot tub. (Quaaludes, a game of chicken, and an ill-advised underwater staring contest with their boss all contributed.) The song itself is a low-key affair, with Strong—this cast’s polymath and stealth star—carrying most of the tuneful load. Here, too, the cosy predictability of the sentiment is undercut by some loopy weirdness, as the strippers—again, without fuss—tell their new friends that they’re headed back to hell after their once-a-year musical reprieve.
Strong soloed in her other standout musical number tonight, a filmed music video sure to pop up on the annual SNL Christmas specials for a while to come. The inherent cloying creepiness of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is transformed, in Strong’s little girl voice, into an even more unsettling tale of childhood voyeurism, as she witnesses her mom’s smooching play out into her parents’ fetish for Craig’s List Santa cuckold-murder roleplaying. Strong’s great, as ever, and the whole thing concludes with about as inclusive a message as such a scenario can achieve, with the little girl resigning herself to the knowledge that “We all each have a thing.”
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Weekend Update update
The best bit of tonight’s Update came from Che, who, halting a joke about 37 percent of Republicans supposedly thinking that Donald Trump is a better president than George Washington, veered away from any expected punchlines, in two separate directions. Che noting that, since—despite being a ridiculous and terrible person—Trump doesn’t actually own slaves is the sort of outside-in comic thinking that Che does so well. And putting Jost on the spot by asking him who’s a better comedian—“Colin Limbaugh Jost” or Bill Cosby—carries the logic of the joke to the end zone, Che’s offscreen, “The answer’s Cosby, by the way,” just spiking the ball triumphantly. That’s a good joke.
As for the rest of the Trump material, I’ll quote Tracy Jordan in saying, “I don’t want to go off on a rant here . . .” Still, here I go. Jost’s smirky centrism, as given its unfiltered expression on Update, marks SNL’s current political comedy more and more as this criminal shitshow of an administration slouches on toward authoritarianism. So many sketches of late (and virtually all of them tonight) regard dismissive sneering as hip both-sides virtue. It’s a stance, I suppose, although for a show that revels in its own largely overrated legacy as an irreverent truth-to-power comedic force on American TV, it’s not so much dispiriting as calculatedly glib. I’m put in mind of Jost smirkily hammering progressive Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez last year for suggesting that, just maybe, mega-corporation Amazon’s exorbitant demands in exchange for opening a New York headquarters constituted unethical extortion of the city from one of the most lucrative companies on Earth. You know, since, just last week, Amazon announced a new New York expansion (with no such superfluous kickbacks). Back then, Jost’s glibness about AOC hating jobs for New Yorkers ignored deeper analysis in favor of lazy punchlines. Tonight, SNL had such Jost-ian fingerprints all over it.
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In a week where the House has officially set up Donald Trump to be just the fourth U.S. president to face a formal impeachment, Jost’s top-of-Update jokes all took the same smirky tack. Democrats will “lose twice in one year.” Congressman and Chair of the House Judiciary Committee Jerry Nadler (D-NY) is dumb for thinking that the legacies of those who continue to countenance the many things Trump’s done will ever matter. (Oh, Nadler’s also ugly.) Che threw in his own too-cool-so-give-a-shit jokes, too, although his dig at Democrats for still playing by the rules when “literally nothing matters any more” at least carried a little conviction behind it. And him urging broke former candidate Kamala Harris to rob a bank (“Do you want this or no?”), again, carried the bit with some originality. As for Trump—the 73-year-old world leader who, among other things, mocked 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg for getting the Time cover he’s photoshopped himself into in the past—we got a fat joke.
Here’s the part where—prepare to be shocked—I admit once more that I genuinely despise Donald Trump, just so those accusing me of that can move onto something else. Yup, hate the guy, in all his baby-caging, tax-cheating, treason-courting, sex-criminal bigotry. But that isn’t what this is about. I’m sure there are plenty more writers and performers on Saturday Night Live who can’t stand the guy, for a variety of reasons. For all its milquetoast political posturing over the years, SNL is hardly some secret haven for subversive right-wingers. I’ve gone into it before, but, for someone who’s now watched literally every episode of Saturday Night Live ever made, the real enemy of good, consistently insightful political comedy on Saturday Night Live is a flawed understanding of what it means to “satirize both sides.” Adopting the pose that nothing really matters and it’s too square to give a shit is, itself, a political stance—and a facile and harmful one. Marketing yourself as a cutting edge satirical force (which SNL has done from the start) carries far more responsibility to the craft of comedy—and courage—than SNL has traditionally shown.
Jumping ahead to tonight’s cold open (which should be in the political comedy section below, but I’m rolling), the joke that there are different political opinions among American families isn’t the problem. It’s that the sketch equates the offputting stridency of both Trump supporters and Trump opponents as equally invalid, as if the things that each are responding to in this administration’s actions were irrelevant. I’m going to go ahead and say that that’s bullshit—when one family (which includes an interracial gay couple) is railing against Trump, their objections aren’t as worthy of mockery as the all-white Republican clan whose imperious dad calls Nancy Pelosi a “libtard commie.” The San Francisco liberals insisting on gender neutral pronouns are just as ridiculous, in the sketch’s metric, for caring about something as are the South Carolina conservatives for equating the Constitutionally provided mechanisms for attempting to remove a corrupt would-be dictator with “a coup.” That the black Atlanta family has a more battle-hardened and pessimistic view of the current situation is some more interesting shading, but Kenan’s dad pronouncing his certainty that impeachment is only going to guarantee Trump reelection comes off—echoing in Jost’s later Update material—as reinforcement of the “nothing matters” vibe. As for the sketch as a whole, I don’t know that Aidy as the Burl Ives snowman from the Rankin-Bass specials conceit ever finds a reason to exist, although at least things end up by pointing out the ridiculousness of the Electoral College ensuring that the politically engaged, if divided, people in more populous states’ votes won’t matter as much as “1,000 people in Wisconsin who won’t think about the election until the day of.” But even there, the joke’s on those rubes whose own brand of not giving a shit just isn’t as cool as SNL’s.
Oh, Kyle Mooney goofed around as an Entourage-douchey Baby Yoda, and Bowen Yang brought back his enthusiastically bitchy Chinese trade official Chen Biao. Yang is not messing around in his first season as featured performer, and bringing back his first big splash character for another enjoyable go-round is a good sign. Dunking on Trump and his own repressive government in turn, Yang’s Biao’s still reveling in his newfound power in the ongoing trade war, even as his flamboyant personality chafes at China’s rigidity. Not as surprising as the first time, but that’s how that goes, and Yang’s asides attacking Americans’ for resenting China’s lax views of intellectual property were pure Yang. Nobody needs your CBD lip gloss, Ainsley.
“What do you call that act?” “‘The Californians!’”—Recurring sketch report
Chen Biao, the dog-mindreader machine (see below). Also, Kenan Thompson’s Charlie, who once more giveth as he taketh away the laughs. On the plus side, Kenan. Playing the garrulous old drunk doorman of an office building, Thompson is in his wheelhouse, grinning and charming his way though as the sort of old school nightmare that the uptight white people (and Yang) of his workplace choose to find endearing. On the major debit side, this sketch once more uses Kenan’s charisma to disguise a particularly ugly little takedown of those pesky, oversensitive types, what with their demands for a harassment-free workplace, and human dignity and all. Again, the scales are balanced in the wrong place, making the point that fired executive Johansson’s drunken holiday party sins (slut-shaming, badgering her one non-white colleague about “where he’s really from”) are just small potatoes next to Charlie’s more open philandering, catchphrase come-ons, and openly swigging from a flask while he downloads porn on the company computer. Neither are acceptable, but the sketch posits that PC types are too permissive of charmingly exotic old black men’s inappropriateness while stridently overreacting to their boss’ piddling transgressions. Kenan can’t help but get laughs, but the sketch is garbage.
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“It was my understanding there would be no math”—Political comedy report
The Netflix show about the publicly unlikely marriage of Kate McKinnon’s zealously shameless Trump apologist Kellyanne Conway and incessant Trump Twitter critic George Conway (Beck Bennett) at least confirms in comic form what I’ve always suspected—for these two publicity hungry loudmouths, it’s all a sex thing. Here, the sketch is balanced correctly, in that it doesn’t ignore the charge that both of these GOP operatives clearly get from their seemingly incompatible online battling, while noting that the fact that one could remain married to someone so supposedly diametrically opposed to everything you believe in means that there’s a whole lot of grandstanding going on. (Both of them scream at a homeless person to get a job, an accurate representation of how, despite their equally lucrative and camera-hogging roles in their public squabble, they’re both terrible people.)
And then there’s the return of Johansson’s inventor and her unexpectedly right-wing pug. (Again, someone read some market research that said every SNL just has to have at least one dog in a sketch. Not a complaint, just an observation.) Once more, the joke is on those hysterical liberals, whose facile hatred of Donald Trump needs to be set straight by a Beck Bennett-voiced canine who spouts Fox News talking points with a disdainful authority the stammering Trump-haters just can’t respond to. And once more it’s sneering disdain masquerading as both-sides-ism, with the dog telling everyone, via translating helmet, that Trump’s just too canny for those silly Dems running around caring about the rule of law and such. The shittiness of the sketch isn’t that it’s pro-Trump (again, I imagine very few SNL-ers on the creative team would describe themselves as such), but its contention that all this impeachment stuff is just the futile protestations of those too unhip to know that nothing they do will make any difference. Remember—caring and trying are for suckers.
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I am hip to the musics of today
Niall Horan, having broken away form the other televised talent show runners-up he was packaged with as One Direction, got the requisite swoony cheers from his fans in the audience (and a heart symbol hand gesture from Johansson) for his two songs. Inoffensive pop, inoffensive balladry, although the line in “Nice To Meet Ya” (“I want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, I swear”) always made me giggle thinking about prettyboy dummy Kyle’s unintentional Nazi anthem, “My Struggle,” on Party Down.
Most/Least Valuable Not Ready For Prime Time Player
With no scene-gobbling guests stars for a change, almost everyone got some decent screen time. (Save for Pete, who I can only hope is doing okay.) But this was a horserace between Kenan and Cecily, with Strong’s musical showcase just edging Kenan’s duet as hip-hopping Santa’s elves alongside Johansson. (The sketch itself played the people doing inappropriate things in front of kids card without enough laughs to bring it home, although the detail of husband Bennett’s surprising familiarity with gender-fluid musical performers at least got viewers Googling Todrick Hall, which is nice.)
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The MAGA dog thing was the actual ten-to-one, but, apart from the lousiness of it, recurring sketches don’t belong here. The sketch about Bowen Yang and Johansson’s Heimlich poster models being swamped with kitchen pro admirers was next-to-last, and, if it didn’t completely come together, the premise made it the rightful heir to the final’s spot’s conceptual comedy legacy.
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Stray observations
The Hallmark bridegrooms, asked to identify a menorah, try “Christmas fork,” and “Santa’s trident,” before Beck Bennett’s hunky ghost gets credit for “a dreidel.”
Kenan’s Atlanta dad, after Bennett’s Republican thanks God that NFL players aren’t kneeling to protest police violence any more, thanks his Lord for the three black quarterbacks who’ve beaten Tom Brady this year.
Yang, disappearing in the monologue, blasts SNL for killing off its first Asian cast member, predicting, “Twitter’s gonna eat you alive.”
Che, in the second timely Hallmark swipe of the night, mocks those “One Million” Moms, saying that, they really don’t need to worry about their sons who voluntarily watch the Hallmark Channel turning gay.
The Hallmark bachelors hail from the films Home For The Home-A-Days, Royal By Christmas Kiss, and Secret Santa: The Nice List.
Next week: It’s finally happening. Eddie comes back to SNL. Plus Lizzo.
